This weekend I celebrated my 32nd birthday. Bryan and I went out for dinner at Lili's Bistro, and then we saw the Forth Worth Symphony Orchestra perform Felix Mendelssohn's Scottish Symphony. I spent much of the evening lost in thought about Mary Queen of Scots and her lover David Rizzio, who in a roundabout way inspired the piece of music, and missing my Grandfather, who instilled in me an appreciation for orchestrated music. I was also in awe that I was listening to something that Queen Victoria and Prince Albert heard. What a birthday gift, right? Truly classical! It was the best birthday I've had in awhile.
(2008 will always take the cake, when my little brother drove 3 hours just to eat dinner with me, and had to leave right after because he had work the next morning. Sorry, Bryan! : P )
There was a particular moment, when I was nestled under Bryan's arm, that I looked around the theatre and down at my Grandmother's clutch that I was carrying, and I felt so full of gratitude for everything the universe has shown me over the last 32 years. It was the first time, I think ever, that I didn't feel a huge disconnect between my past and my present. I know it's so cliche, but I feel very lucky.
And now for some thoughts on birthdays:
-When I was a kid I hated birthdays. My mom would invite my friends over for a party, and I would hide out somewhere until I was forced open gifts and participate in the festivities. I have a photo from my 5th birthday where I'm sitting at the table in front of a cake full of lit candles, with my arms crossed, crying actual tears, refusing to blow them out. On my 7th birthday, while my friends were playing Barbies in my room, I went outside and hid in a tree. I think I was up there for half of an hour before my Dad found me and made me come inside. Now that I'm an adult, I'm discovering that the marginal utility of birthdays is constantly increasing. I appreciate the opportunity to celebrate being alive. It really is a gift, considering the alternative.
-With that being said, this year I feel my age. I'm trying to come to terms with getting old, but I'm just not sure how to go about it. I've always been vain, so I'm sure it's not going to come easy. Tips and advice are welcome.
-While I do like presents, over time I've learned that the best gifts are not tangible. This year was a good example of that, in the form of a text message from my (older) brother. Buuut, if we were going to discuss tangibles, I did buy a pretty kick ass record player as a gift to myself.
Thank you guys so much for the birthday wishes!